So you’re getting married. Like really – you’re getting married. One of the first thoughts that went through my mind the morning after the night before, the night I got engaged to the love of my life.
It happened on New Years Eve 2016, an otherwise nondescript evening for us as for the first time ever we decided to stay in and do our own thing. We had a great day, no pressure of having a big party, we went out for a long walk then spent the late afternoon and evening cooking a three course meal and catching up on some of our favourite TV shows (at the time it was The OA and Shooter). We then decided to head up to (those of you who know Yorkshire) Otley Chevin, as it has a really high view point across Leeds, Bradford and Otley, and we thought it would be a great place to watch the fireworks. Little did I know we’d be having our own fireworks as just before midnight, my (now!) fiance asked me to marry him. Well, actually, we joke about it now but he told me wanted to marry me, rather than ask, but it was perfect nonetheless and of course I said yes. We then stood in our own little bubble in the freezing cold with the wind whipping around us and watched as the skyline erupted with fireworks. It was honestly a dream moment for me and one I’ll never forget. We then headed home and proceeded to tell all our family and friends, then posted the obligatory social media photo.
I stayed up for hours buzzing and couldn’t sleep. What then unfolded in the following days was just a barrage of thoughts that no one can prepare you for. What I wanted to focus this blog post on is the crazy (yet also somewhat practical) thoughts, and the sheer mass of them, that go through your mind in the first few days of engagement. Hopefully I’ll be answering these over the coming months, and it would be great to hear from other brides to be if you had a similar experience to me, any advice you’d share, and where you are at with answering these questions! And for those yet to get engaged, well, you have all this fun to come…
- When will we get married?
- Where will we get married?
- Who will pay for it?
- Will my friends who are already engaged be bothered that I’m now engaged?
- Is there a chance said engaged friends will start competing with one another?
- Who will be my bridesmaids?
- Would I stay over at a venue the night before? And if so, who would I share a room with? My mum? One of my bridesmaids? How would I pick!
- What dress do I want?
- What time of year should we get married?
- Will engaged friends be bothered if I get married in the same year, or before them?
- What theme do I want? Do I even want a theme?
- I have no idea about flower names. Do I need to learn to pick the ideal bouquet?
- Would we write our own vows? What would we say?
- Where would we go on honeymoon?
- Would we do a mini-moon before a honeymoon?
- Can I find a cruelty free make-up artist? (Something I feel very patiently about)
- Who would do my hair? How would I wear my hair?
- What kind of wedding ring would I have?
- Can we have a vegetarian wedding? (Fiance’s answer is a resounding NO)
- I better get back into the gym and start getting into shape (OK, not a question, but I still thought it)
- Will engagement always feel like this, as it feels so different? (For me, it went back to normal pretty quick, how about you?)
- Can I ask for money from my parents or do I wait for them to offer?
- What is with that carpet? (A very specific struggle when looking at venues)
- Should we have an engagement party? (We decided no)
- Do we need to create a spreadsheet?
- Who will his groomsmen be? Does it matter if we don’t have similar numbers to bridesmaids?
- How much does a wedding even cost?
- Will people get annoyed with me talking about weddings?
- Will people stay over at our wedding?
- What kind of cake would we have?
- How do we fill the awful time gaps at weddings that we’ve come to find a nuisance being a guest?
- Would we have a live band?
- What about music? Would we have a DJ or play our own?
- How soon should we look at venues? (The answer is SOON)
- What type of venue do we even want?
- Would we want any of it outside?
- Would I wear a veil?
- Who do we invite?
- OK, we wrote a list, how do we cut it down?
The list genuinely could go on, but I’ll leave it at 40. All things you genuinely need to consider, just probably not within the first few days of engagement. But, if you’re like me, these thoughts will run through your mind regardless.
I’m happy to say, going back to my (very busy!) day job helped after the festive break, as I had to get back to focussing on real life. Also writing this blog post was a great peace of therapy. Coming up next I’ll tell you more about me and my fiance, Paddy, as well as our plans so far, but for now, thanks for reading, and for coming along on this journey with me!