As a lover of all things wedding I thought I’d follow all of the traditions when I started this wedding planning journey. But over the last 6 months whilst we’ve been budgeting, planning & prioritizing we’ve found quite a few of them just don’t fit in with our day. Some of them are due to budget, some of them are because they don’t fit with our set up and some of them are just because I don’t want the admin.
A long top table
Our room set up is lots of round tables featuring 8-9 of our favorite people. Round tables are fabulous for great chat and amazing center pieces. So why on my big day am I expected to sit on a really long table. I guess this tradition is mainly for the photo’s and so everyone can see the bride and groom when the speeches are taking place. However I’m keeping the center pieces low so everyone can still see us and will make sure we’re facing into the room to make it issue free.
Traditional top table guests
The tradition of sitting next to your husband’s father and him sitting next to your mother doesn’t work for our family. It would mean my father in law doesn’t get to sit with his wife & kids. With two best men also not being able to sit with their wives & my bridesmaids not sitting with their other halfs. I really want everyone to be surrounded by the people they love and for everyone to be really comfortable on the day.
I want my mother in law to be able to share her meal with her brothers and for the best men to sit happily with their wives. Because of this we’ve scrapped all the tradition in this area – we have a group of close friends we pretty much consider family so we’re plonking them on our table instead. This way no family can get offended, there’s no politics it’s purely about people sitting with the people they love and know the best.
The wedding cake
I have an entire pinterest board dedicated to beautiful wedding cakes. I’ve even contacted a few wedding cake bakers to discuss the beauty of what they could create. However our budget is small and when I found out the price of even a small little wedding cake I couldn’t justify it. It came down to having a cake or having a photobooth and the photobooth absolutely trumped the cake.
I don’t want a picture of me and my husband to be cutting a cake so there is just no need for it in the day. This is the one thing that people are shocked about and always say ‘no you have to have a cake’ but when you ask them why they can’t actually answer. It’s just one of those things you do. If I win some money in the next few months I will get one but on my current budget it just does not fit.
Formal wedding breakfast
This is part a financial decision part me being selfish. The financials of feeding 50 people is quite mind blowing. Some caterers were offering £150 per head menu’s that literally blew my mind. I have never spent £150 on one persons dinner in my life and I couldn’t understand how it could be so much. We are also not a chicken and potato kind of couple – we love making paella, eating mexican food or having a greek mezze feast.
So when I stumbled across a caterer who created these incredible platters of any cuisine where your guests can just eat what they want I knew it was the one. It came in at our budget and the best bit is I don’t need to ask anyone what they want to eat. Now I love a spreadsheet but the idea of compiling 50 menu options just filled me with sadness. All I need to do is find out any crucial dietary requirements and everyone is ready to go.
As a final note this is throwing no shade at anyone who chooses to have these things in their day – they are simply traditions that don’t work for us & our budget.