Always the bride, never the bridesmaid…


As you know I am pretty obsessed by all things weddings – fuelled further now that I am a bride to be. But this wedding obsession definitely isn’t anything new. For as long as I can remember I have been desperate to be a bridesmaid. I had been promised a few times when I was younger that I would be for my cousin, second cousin, third cousin – anyone who would have me really or my Mum could persuade to have me! But it just never happened.

I remember being pretty heartbroken at the time. Why wouldn’t they want me? Even up to the age of 18! Someone once said to me ‘well it’s all very political isn’t it’ and I thought to myself what’s political about picking someone, putting them in a dress and letting them be part of your special day… That was until I got engaged! Planning a wedding is probably the closest to politics I’ll ever get!

Choosing your wedding party is so important. It is essential to have people who you know will be there to support you throughout the whole process, not just on the day itself. Friends that are genuinely happy for you and just who you want to share your day with. Sounds easy enough doesn’t it? It’s not! There are so many other things to consider…what’s tradition? Having someone you have been friends with since school as your Best Man? Only having one? Having the groom’s sister? Will you hurt someones feelings by not having them? Do you have the budget for multiple maids? Or feeling obliged to have someone that had you? (That one not so much a problem for me obviously) it’s a minefield!

If you read my last post you’ll know that one of my friends Rochelle got engaged recently and only last weekend my other friend Debbie got engaged to her boyfriend (of like 11 years) in Thailand. They are such a lovely couple and I am so happy for them. And with all these engagements (and the recruitment to my brides to be club going big guns) in a group of girls it is only a matter of time before the speculation over the wedding party begins. I even have friends not engaged yet worrying about who they will have!

I know all of my friends would be there to support me but I didn’t want too many bridesmaids. In the end I chose three friends and Wayne’s sister Jenna. I hope this was the right thing to do – it feels right and my other friends will have different roles during the day.

This weekend we went bridesmaid dress shopping – eight bottles of prosecco later (including two from the wedding stash) and no dresses I think it’s safe to say it wasn’t the most productive weekend ever, it was fun though and that’s all that matters! And the less said about trying to organise suit shopping with the Best Man the better….

My advice to brides worrying over their wedding party is – don’t! Sometimes its better to be a wedding guest anyway and your friends, if they are real friends will always understand.

So for now I guess I’ll settle for being a bride and I’m sure my time will come to take up the role of bridesmaid.