Hello all, I hope you’ve had a good week. Apologies for the delay in my most recent blog post – I’ve had a very busy week involving my birthday, giving student lectures and a hectic business trip to Sweden…aaaand breathe!!
This week I’m writing about something that I’ve come to realise over the last couple of months – the inability to switch off from wedding planning!
So, the wedding stress dreams…
With me it pretty much started right from day one of wedding planning and it’s gone on ever since. I’ll have at least one dream a week where various things go wrong. Most recently my wedding nightmare involved our venue triple booking and us having our wedding in the kitchen. The photographer also cancelled on us and my dress was horrible. They vary though, a common one I have is telling everyone the wrong date and no body turns up! Get a grip woman!
During the hours I’m not asleep I have convinced myself I’m not at all stressed by the wedding. I genuinely feel like I’m not until I start over thinking all elements of the day. Then comes the realisation that I’m thinking about it all day, every day. Probably not healthy.
So how do you take a step back and stop the anxiety inducing panics over the smallest of details. Well it’s probable easier said than done but here’s some advice I’ve tried to give myself and it seems to be doing the trick:
1. I’ve said this before, but it’s an important one to remember: You’re the only one who will know if a particular detail of your wedding is missing or wrong. Nobody else knows and to be honest nobody else cares.
2. Take a step back once in a while. James and I told ourselves that we’d take a wedding planning break for a couple of months at the beginning of this year. We stuck to it and to be honest it was a welcome break.
3. Try not to overload yourself with things to get done in a short space of time. Obviously if you’re organising a wedding in a relatively short amount of time this may be unavoidable.
4. I’m sure there are many psychologists who will disagree with this but I have done this throughout my life: List Making. Be realistic, write a list that descends in order of the most crucial and important elements of things to book/order/complete. I find the ticking off process so therapeutic!
5. Finally, try and talk wedding with your partner when you’re both in the same mind set. There’s no point in harassing each other the moment you’re back from work about charger plates or wedding favours. It usually ends up in a “you don’t care about our wedding ” moment (we’ve had a few) when all it comes down to is that one of you is exhausted. Finding a time to talk wedding when you’re refreshed is always more productive!
So with all this in mind, try and remember that this will be the most spectacular day of your life and the moment you see your partner on the day all those stresses and worries will melt away. Well at least that’s what I’ve been told – I’ll let you know in 5 months time!
For me the dreams continue but they’re normally very amusing when I recount them, a particular favourite was a dream where he altered my dress secretly and turned it into culottes. Too much cheese before bed perhaps!!!