This was a question I got asked regularly in the first two years of marriage. And you will too. Some were asking just as small talk and others, those usually on the path to wedded bliss genuinely wanted to know what it was like. Whilst our wedding was fricking awesome, the day after was just perfection. All the planning was over, friends and family were still in town, and I was a wife. I genuinely felt different towards Michael straight after the wedding, I think it actually verged on marital smugness. We got to use the words husband and wife rather than partner, we knew we were now legally bound, and we made a promise in front of everyone we loved that we would stay together till death. We were now #TeamMiller.
People still look at me a little weirdly when I say that I am married (at 27), and got married at 23 “oh but that’s so young”, they say. It is. But we had been together for 5 years prior to that, its not like it was a rash decision. And hey, we are still going strong now so really, age has nothing to do with it.
We went down the verrrry traditional route, we lived together after the wedding. I moved up to leeds and stayed at his mothers house for a year beforehand, but one on one didn’t happen until 2 months after the wedding. It meant that we made full use of our gift list as we had nothing.
It added a fun element to post wedding blues that I think would have been hard to deal with without the moving, and deciding what we wanted our marital home to look like. Soon after that we got a puppy, then a year later bought our first house. And really, not much has changed…
He still leaves a floordrobe
We still sit on the same sofa at night
We still argue
We still say ‘I love you’ every day
We still have date nights
We still bicker about taking the bin out
We still don’t do the whole PDA thing, or feel the need to be by each others sides at social events
I still want a puppy
We still make decisions together
We still have regular relations (tmi?)
He still makes me laugh daily
I still hate his bad habits (he knows what they are!)
So what has changed?
He is a better cook – oh the Michael I first met could not cook. At all. He is now pretty amazing at it!
We have learnt how to argue – this is something that comes with time and has taken us 9 years, 2 houses and 4 years of marriage. Theres arguing, and then theres arguing with purpose. We now thankfully do the latter.
We have a dog and a house – responsibilities really show you what someone is like. Most couples nowadays would have had this way before engagement though I guess.
He uses ‘the wife’ card to get out of things he doesn’t actually want to do. Because no one can argue with that.
I still haven’t gotten used to my new surname and will often fill forms out and Mrs Irvine rather than Miller. My Boden catalogue is address to Mrs Phoebe Irvine. How long does it take till this goes?!
I love him more with each year that passes
You have all of this to look forward to, and I would challenge anyone that says “its just a piece of paper”. It really isn’t. And it is something you have to experience to truly understand.