The Groom’s Diary ~ The One With The Revelation | uk wedding blog

facebook-profile-picture By Phoebe

the grooms diaryMerry Sunday one and all. I hope you have enjoyed the blog this week, we have had record number of views, and beautiful weddings which hopefully will continue in to next. I also announced some fun pieces of news which you can find more about on my Facebook page or on Twitter but I will be blogging about it all very soon no doubt. Now to round off a splendid week with another entry by Matt. I hope you enjoy! 

I’m not sure I’m what you would call a typical groom, as a wedding photographer I work in the wedding industry so have had a good beak around at what looks good and what I personally like. That probably makes me a bit different from a lot of other guys who haven’t got a clue about any of this sort of stuff. To those boys, I apologise if your wife to be reads this and says something along the lines of, ‘See, why can’t you be more like him!’ If that does happen, get in touch and I will send you some beer tokens (and a crib sheet).

However, having said all that, something has definitely changed since we got engaged. In fact, there has been a change in both of us. Alice now has a reason to pour over all those images and ideas she saved up while working at Wedding Ideas Magazine and pretty much wants everything she sees. That’s normal behaviour though for a bride to be (so she says). The change in me I didn’t really expect, and I’ll tell you what has happened.
When we talked about getting married, before I actually proposed, I was only really bothered about a handful of things about the wedding; seeing Alice walk down the aisle, having a nice suit, driving a sports car to the church and to the reception venue with Alice (Aston Martin DB5 was my first choice until I saw how much that would cost to hire) and getting a mini beer festival going on at the reception. The rest I wasn’t really bothered about, didn’t care. Since we got engaged though I have realised that I care a lot more, actually I care about every damn bit of this wedding, from where it’s going to be, who’s going to be there, what the invites will look like, whether we need Save the Date cards, what we’re going to eat, how we will entertain our guests, whether we get married in a church or not, will we have a band, what will the groomsmen wear, and so on and so on. I’ve also realised caring is a full time job….almost.
Here’s how our dynamic works; when I’m not out taking photos I work from home editing, marketing and doing admin stuff, and all of this of course while sat in my pants and a T-shirt according to Alice. She meanwhile works three days a week and is studying on the other two. So I will get emails or texts from Alice saying we need to decide who we want to our invites, or we need to think about catering, can you have a look and see what you like? I think this is code for, ‘Why haven’t you already contacted ten people and got prices?’
Well contacting suppliers has been a real eye-opener, even though I work in the wedding world. I knew there was a lot of photographers out there, but I guess I never gave a thought to the fact that there is the same number of people making invitations, doing catering, arranging flowers etc. It’s so tough to know where to start, I’m sure you’ve felt the same too. What makes it even tougher I have found is that everyone is so bloody good at what they’re doing, and the ones we have emailed have all been so nice and excited with their response. That’s why having blogs like, ‘So You’re Getting Married,’ is brilliant because you can get recommendations and see what others have done.
I want to choose them all, I’m going to feel bad to have to say thanks but we decided to use someone else. Despite feeling bad though I will make sure that I reply to each of them to thank them for their time, it will take seconds and for me it’s the right thing to do.
There are definite lessons for me to learn as a supplier from this experience, and if you’re a supplier reading this I hope these things will help you too so here they are. There are lots of people out there doing the same thing as you so anything you can do that makes you stand out when you reply to the initial email will be a massive bonus, and secondly, reply quickly. I’m a patient person but I have realised that because I’m really excited about our wedding I want the suppliers to be excited too and I want a quick reply. Even if it’s an auto responder, send something back straight away so that they know their email is important. Right that’s the marketing aside over, back to the planning.
We haven’t even booked a venue yet by the way and yet we have contacted stationers and caterers and bridesmaids have been chosen and asked, that’s normal isn’t it? I’ve even been in touch with a tailor and Alice has made an appointment to try on some dresses. I think we’re trying to do everything so quickly because we’re so excited and I’m sure you are too, it’s like being in a restaurant and choosing everything we like off the menu. When the bill comes though I hope we’re sitting by the door so we can do a runner 😉
We did look at our first venue the other weekend however and we both absolutely loved it and what we could potentially do with it. We have a couple of others to see but this one is a strong contender. Can’t tell you too much about it right now though, it’s top secret, you’ll have to keep reading the diary to find out.
So what can you take from these ramblings? Well a few things I hope, maybe other grooms are now feeling the same as I do, that they want to be involved with everything. Brides, take some time to ask his opinion and listen to what he says, you might be surprised. Grooms, planning a wedding is damn hard work if the first month is anything to go by, if you’ve not got involved and you’re not helping your bride to be, see what you can help with, there is so much to do.
That’s all for this entry, I’d love to hear your comments on whether any of this rings true for you, bride or groom. If you’ve got any top tips to share as well them please post them below.
Oh there is one thing that I’m still struggling to get my head into….flowers! I have no idea how to use them or what they should look like, I’m leaving this one to Alice and our brilliant florist Rachel from The Rose Shed.
See you next time,

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